Stressful meal times? Help! My kids is a picky eater!

little girl eating, occupational therapy
child eating, picky eater
baby, eating, girl, picky eater

Strategies that Help Picky Eaters

Many kids go through a picky phase but what do you do if your child is more than picky, we call this a problem eater.

Determine what is the cause behind your child’s pickiness

Some children who become picky eaters actually have an underlying oral issue. They may have a tongue tie or hyper-gag reflex that affects the movements of their tongue making it harder for them to swallow certain kinds of foods. Parents should talk to their pediatrician and speech therapists about the oral structure of the mouth to check for any anomalies.

The other cause could be sensory. Some children are born with an innate sensitivity to food tastes and textures. Others may start with an oral structure issue that becomes a sensory issue over time. When a child experiences a negative eating occurrence, they begin to make associations to the food with the negative experience which then expands to other foods they associate with the first “bad food”.

For example, I choke on a piece of chicken. Chicken then becomes “bad” or “yucky” and I don’t like it. If I don’t like chicken then I also need to not eat foods that look like chicken, smell like chicken, has the same consistency of chicken or that reminds me of chicken in any way and before you know it, I am no longer eating a variety of foods. For example, if I don’t eat chicken, I may not eat any form of meat, anything white like chicken, or anything that requires prolonged chewing.

A negative eating experience can create increased anxiety around the topic of food and can build an unhealthy relationship with food for children. Oftentimes, children become so fearful and anxious about eating something and experiencing that negative feeling again that some children will choose not to eat all together.

Once you have checked that your child’s oral structure is healthy then you can begin tackling the sensory part of eating and more importantly their anxiety about the sensory experience. There are a couple of different feeding programs out there typically ran by speech or occupational therapists that works on addressing these issues. S.O.S feeding or Sequential-Oral Sensory approach to feeding is a common approach utilized by therapists to slowly expose children to food.

Taking baby steps and completing exposure therapy helps to reduce the anxiety around the sensory food experience, helps your child feel more in control and motivates them to try new foods.

Things to try at home

  • Expose your child young to different foods (before the age of 2)- keep in mind what is safe developmentally for them to eat
  • Choose one food item to focus on at a time
  • Play with the food- having your child tolerate touching food with their hands is the first step
    • Build things out of food
    • Make a mess with the food
    • Dip one food into another food
    • Give the food personalities and make them talk
  • Separate eating time versus food exploration time- there should be clear expectations between when a child should be eating versus playing and exploring with their food
  • Smell the food
  • Lick the food
  • Put the food in your mouth then spit it out- giving your child the option and safe space to spit the food out helps give them a sense of control which can help reduce their anxiety
  • Demonstrate your own dislikes with your child- have them see you try a food you don’t like and struggle through it
    • This helps your child see that they are not alone, that you also don’t like all food but that it is important thing is to try
  • Remind your child to try the same food several times
    • Our tastes buds require several exposures before our brain determines if we like something or not
    • After they have tried it 10 times, if they decide they really don’t like it, try to respect their opinion
  • If it is a food that they need to eat for nutritional purposes have them try it in different ways
    • Put it with condiments or cheese
    • Chop it up really small and hide it in other foods but be honest with your child so they don’t lose trust in you, you don’t want them thinking your are constantly trying to trick them
    • Use different cooking methods- fry, bake, microwave
    • Follow the non-preferred food with a reward or preferred food

Dealing with the anxiety

One of the hardest parts is getting your child to push through their anxiety when it comes to food. Many children are too young to understand the concept of anxiety or how to face their fears especially when it comes to food

One of the strategies I have used in the past is personifying anxiety. I work with the child to create a “monster” this monster whispers things in their ear like, don’t eat it, it will be yucky, you’re going to choke, etc. Then we work on them becoming superheroes who fight their monster. Their superhero is a personification of themselves who “fight” the monster. The superhero says things like you can do this, don’t listen to the monster, it might be fun, you might like it, etc.

Movement breaks and the power pose keeps the kids moving and focusing on something else so between food trials I’ll have them get up and move their body. Think about when you sit up straight or stand with your hands on your hips. Confidence is directly impacted by your body positioning.

I’ll use a ladder drill and stickers. I’ll draw a ladder on a piece of paper with pre-written steps between each ladder rung. When the child completes the task I’ll place a sticker on that space until they slowly work their way up the ladder to the activity or task I want them to complete o end goal. Think of it as breaking down one task into tiny baby steps.

These strategies are helpful in tackling many forms of anxiety not just with food.

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